Are we obsessed with self-improvement?

Are we obsessed with self-improvement?

I know I am! I mean really obsessed. I buy self-help books all the time. I read articles about how to be a better mother, better teacher, better wife, better friend, fitter, healthier, how to be a better human being…

But the thing is that I read half a self-help book and then move onto the next one when my life is not immediately wonderful and transformed. I read these articles and instantly feel that I’m a failure as a parent/wife/teacher etc. At a time when we are talking more and more about mental health and there seems to be somewhat of a mental health crisis, I wonder whether this is part of the problem. Those of us that are this way inclined constantly feel inadequate and dissatisfied, like we need to be improved. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a great believer in pushing yourself to be your best and always striving for more. However, I wonder whether we’ve become obsessed with self-improvement to the point that it makes a lot of us feel pretty crappy and useless. I wonder whether sometimes we just need to sit back, take stock and look at what we are good at, or how far we’ve come!

I went to the gym today and after a few weeks of following a programme, I decided to start a new one. This one, I thought, is going to be better. This is the one that is going to change my life. I do this all the time. It’s ridiculous. After doing a few reverse lunges (which I hate), I realised that actually if I just stuck to one thing and saw it through and remained consistent, then I might start to see the results I want.

My latest obsessions have been changing my hair and changing my clothes. I mean if I just looked better then all would be ok, right?! So I’m giving myself a talking to. I’ll always be someone who has to have a plan or some way that I’m working on being better. It’s just who I am. But I really need to also not let these plans take away from the things I’m doing alright at.

And actually the single most important thing I could do for myself and those around me, is the one thing I haven’t improved at – it’s putting down my damn phone. But I’ll save that conversation for another day…